Percy in Asgard: A Parody
by metal.lamp-silvertongue
Summary: What if Percy, who is a son of Loki, had to go to Asgard. This is a spin-off of "The things we forget" because I like spin-offs. T for Tony's mouth. Maybe there'll be more...
1. Chapter 1

Percy in Asgard: A Parody

It was all too, weird, Percy thought. Things happened so fast. He was walking home with Mom back from the supermarket, helping with some bags and generally enjoying time with her before he had to go suffer for his finals then go to Camp Half-Blood. Tyson was going to come over tomorrow but that was bro-time, dudes hanging out and looking at awesome skateboards.

And then something that should have been in a movie shot out of the sky. People began to scream as alien-things with sticks were pointing at everyone and—_oh God, they were killing them._

Then they turned to Percy's Mom. Riptide was pulled out, he sliced at one trying to kill him and hey, it worked. But his mom got hit.

And then his mom glowed green and a dude with gold horns fell off of the flying motorcycle he was riding and crashed to the ground, cracking pavement before standing up and choking. His glowing blue eyes were in shock as the glowing figure of mom dissolved and then misted around him, before slipping into his mouth and down his throat. His eyes flickered between a shade blue and green before flashing mom's eye color, then returning to that weird blue shade.

Then things went crazy and all Percy knew is that Mom was now a man and a bad guy. And apparently a god, but he didn't know what kind. Then Mom made some freaky magic chain and made sure Percy was always near him.

And _always_ meant _always_.

Mom, or Loki—as he was known, was captured, but only because someone tried to pull Percy away. Percy panicked, but not like his mom, who snarled and jumped on the man, forgetting Percy was attached to him.

Things moved fast and Percy was nursing a bruise while his mom glared at the tall, old man with an eyepatch. He stared at Percy for a good long while, before calling out to someone who wasn't in his eyesight.

Then a huge, as in, really, really tall and tough-looking, blond man approached the glass cage they were in and put a hand on it. He seemed really upset and kept shooting glances at Percy.

It is time to go home, brother.

Apparently, that included Percy as well.

**[The child of a trickster, he is not a monster?!]**

"Go away."

"No, we were instructed by out King to watch over you." Percy had been in Asgard for a few days, and murmuring and whisperings were getting to him. The food was weird, there was no coke, only coffee, since Lord Thor, or Prince Thor, enjoyed it heavily. But Lady Sif, and the Warriors Hogun, Volgstagg and Fandral followed King Odin's order to the T. They watched while he ate, sleep and stood guard when he peed.

"I know that, I was there. But you guys are being annoying." There was no response but Fandral quiet snort and he could feel Lad Sif's disapproval grow.

They reached a small pool where some people (Percy wasn't sure if they were gods too) were lounging by. When they spotted Percy, the stared and some left, making their disgust of him obvious. His scowled deepened and he kicked off his sneakers (which he refused to get rid of) and jumped into the water.

He thought he heard someone yell and didn't notice until two hands tried grabbing at him. He freaked out and _pushed_.

Five minutes later and Percy was looking at a thoroughly soaked Sif, along with ten other people, not including the Warriors Three.

"Oh yeah, I can move water, did I forget to mention that?" Sif's glare, along with the rest of the people, was strangely gratifying.

**[Queen Frigga's annoying grandson]**

"Perseus?"

"Um, you can call me Percy, my lady…uh…majesty…"

"Come here and take those things off of your feet."

"But—"

"Isn't that better?"

"The ground feels weird."

"It is just the stone, my child."

"This taste weird."

"We do not add much to our meats, we refer its true taste."

"They keep following me."

"It is for your safety."

"No, I mean, they really are following me."

"Ah, they wish for your affections. You are such a comely child!"

"I'm twelve…"

"Yes, they might be over one hundred years but it doesn't matter."

"…Can I go home now?"

**[Before all of this happened, Percy was stuck with the Avengers]**

"Hey kid do that water thing." – Stark

"No, I'm not a dog." – Percy

"Do it…._do_ it." – Stark

"I said no, you can't make me use my powers!" –Percy

"I want to see them!" –Stark

"Uh, can you act your age?" –Percy

"When you show me how you fucking move water." –Stark

"Tony!" –Pepper Potts

"What?" –Stark

"He's twelve!" –Pepper Potts

"He's also standing right here." –Percy

"Oh, oh, Pep, the water's moving!" –Stark

"I can see that." –Pepper Potts

"It's also covering us." –Stark

"Do it _again_." –Stark

"Now." – Stark

"Please?" –Stark

"I'm going to take a nap." –Percy


	2. IBD: Stark and Jackson

**AN: I just wanted to write more Tony-Percy interactions...**

* * *

**[In Between Drabbles 1]** Tony Stark and Percy Jackson Hang Out

Tony Stark may be amazingly smart but he's just as annoying as a kindergartener on sugar.

"Wow, that's harsh." Tony said, giving Percy a faux teary glance.

Percy rolled his eyes and closed his notebook that Ms. Pepper Potts gave him. "Truth hurts, and you're an adult so you can take it."

"Am I as adorable as a five year-old?" Tony popped some bite-size cookies into his mouth and offered the bag to the kid.

"I'm not gonna even answer that…" he said as he stared at the animal crackers, slightly offend. And the sliced apples.

"I mean, I'm much more than that, but I won't say it 'cause you're like twelve. But I bet you're gonna be a catch with the ladies." The bearded man wriggled his eyebrows at the dark-haired kid.

"Again, not gonna answer that…" Percy trailed off, shaking his head.

"Don't be a spoil-sport, say something, do something cool." Tony reached over to prod Percy.

"How about you ask my lawyer?" Percy snapped at him and shoved the glass of milk away from him.

"Kid, you don't got one. I do 'cause I'm rich and awesome." Tony raised his arms, as if to tell Percy it's okay to bask in his gloriousness.

Percy stared, not amused. "What if I told you my mom was a lawyer?"

"Well news flash, Loki's still locked up so he can't do much for you." Tony sassed back, crossing his arms and giving him a look.

"_Well, _you left me with no choice. Ms. Potts, Tony's asking me weird adult questions!" Immediately, the click-clacking of heels were heard as the red-head rushed to the room Percy was forced to remain in.

"Oh crap—!" Tony let some curses out and he tried to pretend he was working.

"What?! Tony, what the—he's twelve for goodness sake!" Pepper hissed at him, nudging a plate of sandwiches at Percy. The crust was cut _off._

"Perce, you little shit, you're definitely Loki's brat." Tony said half-angry, half-laughing.

"TONY!"


End file.
